Mend My Broken Heart
by Lynnie-chan
Summary: Two men both dealing with a loss that's bigger than the both of them. Will they be able to help the other mend his broken heart? or will they go on drifting through the world possibly missing their second chance at love? YAOI. MPREG. CHARACTER DEATH. LEMONS IN LATER CHAPTERS I OWN NOTHING. Mentions of anime characters will be there. SESSHOMARUXKOUGA
1. Prologue

**{{AN: This is a redo of my 'star crossed romance' this is going to be more in dept. I OWN NOTHING, NOT CHARACTER'S UNLESS IT'S A OC, NO ANIME, JUST THE PLOT. THIS IS A SESSHOMARUXKOUGA If you don't like that couple please don't read. This will have yaoi/slash mpreg, lemon's and character death in later chapters OOC. If you like it please review and or leave me a message. Flames will be used to light my smokes.}}**

Sesshomaru had never believed that the world could sound or feel this cold. Never before had it felt so lonely and dead. Not until today. Not even when he came West with Kagura, it was welcoming then, sure there was hard work but she was there with him to do it. And now as he looked down at the fresh grave he realized that the world was a cold, unforgiving place that would turn it's back on you. He had thought that once before, back when his own mother disappeared in his youth. But then..well he supposed it hadn't hurt that much because he was to young to really understand. He was still running behind his father's steps when the man went out into the fields, this though..this was a completely new kind of hurt.

The wind howled as it blew around him, tossing his hair and pulling at his jacket and the tiny blanket that was covering the small figure he was holding close, intent on having the world know it's fury directed at those who came out of the shelter of their homes today. But while most were shivering, Sesshomaru did not. He stood still as stone, eyes dark and seeming dead. The spark that used to tease and make him seem more friendly and welcoming was gone. There standing in front of the brand new grave, the man looked older, colder, and distant. As if he was gone completely from the world, and believing that if he wasn't there, if he didn't acknowledge this, then it wouldn't be. It wouldn't truly be happening. For it felt like just yesterday that he and Kagura were coming West, building their home and starting their family.

The small bundle in his arms shifted, a small peeping whine was heard before the man was moving, rocking lightly to and fro until the bundle settled again just as the preacher finished the words. They were nice, fitting for the situation. Offering strength and understanding for the two life's left behind. Sesshomaru didn't feel comfort, he felt alone and angry, like the wold had turned its back on him once again. Only this time instead of taking his mother, it took his wife.

"Sesshomaru, I know that it's gonna be hard now, do you want me to take Rinny for a while? just until you get settled again?"

"No, she needs her father now, we will manage."

"Alright well if ya need any help, let us know."

Sesshomaru nodded, finally turning his head from the grave to look at the elderly Kaede, the woman who had been there to deliver his daughter, and the one who he had called when Kagura's body got tight and the fever spiked to the point that cool rags hadn't been able to help.

"Sesshomaru..She loved ya, and ya know she would of stayed if she could. An ya ain't alone, ya got that sweet little girl." A pat on his fore arm before the woman was moving again. "Don't be a stranger."

And then she was walking back to the wagon her own family had come in. The cold wasn't good for her old bones, and she knew that right now Seshomaru wouldn't want the company, he needed to mourn this in his own way, as much as that hurt the elderly woman to leave him alone, she knew that it was best.

"Daddy?"

"Hm?"

"Where's mama?"

Those two words cut Sesshomaru deeper than anything else. His eyes trailed from the mound fresh to the earth to his two year old daughter who was looking up at him with large dark eyes and question's that he couldn't answer. Or if he could, he didn't give them to her. She was still young and he didn't want to expose her to how ugly the world could be, he wasn't ready for her to face this pain. Not yet, not if she could avoid it.

So he didn't answer the question. It was unlike him yes, but he wasn't sure what to tell her, he was at a loss for that kind of a explanation to a two year old that her mother was dead. He didn't think that she would understand anyway and there was no point in doing that to her. So he held her close, silently cursing the world once again for taking something so precious not only from him, but from his child too.

He wasn't sure how long he stood in the cold, listening to the wind howling and watching the grave, before the reality sunk in, Kagura wasn't coming home. He turned then, forcing himself to walk away. No amount of standing and watching would bring her back to them, even if he wanted it more than anything. He still had to go on, the world wouldn't stop for his mourning, and his daughter still needed him. Now more than ever. So he walked to the wagon, setting Rinny in the small basket covered in hay to keep in soft, and headed for home.

As night fell, the rain came with it. Sesshomaru had put his daughter into her small baby bed, pressed a kiss to her forehead and made sure that her quilt was pulled up over her to keep the chill off. It was still early spring and a frost wasn't unheard of. So after making sure that Rinny was indeed asleep and not in danger of getting cold or anything else, he felt that he could finally break.

Moving in to the living room, his eyes taking in all of the small thing's that had Kagura's touch, making the ache in his heart throb all the much harder. When he got to the kitchen table and sat down, his shoulders sagged as if the weight of the world was pressing down on him. He couldn't believe it. He didn't want to believe it. And in his minds eye, he could still see Kagura holding Rinny in her arms, smiling at him, the mischievous gleam in her eye that always made his heart skip a beat.

0~0~0~0

_"Are you sure that your alright? if you think it's time then I should go for Kaede, we want to make sure that she's here when the baby decides he's ready"_

_"Sesshomaru, your getting worked up over nothing. It's our first baby, it's going to take a little while before SHE comes. Sit down and finish eating, then i'll go to bed and you can go for Kaede if it will make you feel better."_

_The woman was infuriating, honestly. She wanted him to sit and eat dinner while she was having contractions! how could he sit and eat then? But seeing how she seemed to be able relax and eat, he did his best to copy the motion, though every time she winced, he nearly dropped his fork. This was literally the longest meal he could ever remember having._

_0~0~0~0_

_"Sesshomaru! look who just took their first steps!"_

_The cry caused the golden eyed man to whip around just in time to see his little girl toddling forward on unsteady leg's with a bright smile and little arms reaching out for him._

_"Come here Rinny, come to Pa."_

_"Daddy"!_

_A tiny body as light as a feather stumbled into his arms. He held her tight, spinning them and smiling as he heard her laugh before his eyes trailed to his wife who was standing in the back door way watching the two of them._

_Rinny was clapping proud of her new achievement and Sesshomaru was happy. He had everything in life he could of ever wanted. A loving wife, a beautiful daughter, a home and some land that had been good to them. He wasn't hurting for anything. They of course werent rich by any mean's but they had enough to be comfortable and some money saved up if there was something that they needed._

_0~0~0~0_

_"Kaede! you have to come!"_

_Never in his life had Sesshomaru pushed his horse so hard before. But he couldn't get to the home fast enough. Something was wrong, he knew it when he came in from the fields for lunch and Kagura was doubled over in the kitchen with Rinny gumming her finger's in her little chair._

_"Hush now Sesshomaru, i'll come but you must tell me what it is."_

_"It's Kagura, somethin is wrong, she's all stiff and got a fever somethin fierce, ya gotta come now!"_

_"Alright I'm coming I'm coming. Bankotsu, watch the kids!"_

_That had been the longest day of Sesshomaru's life. He kept Rinny in the fields with him in the little harness he had rigged up. He didn't want her to see her mama that way, so he carried her on his back. The time he had been with Kagura before going to get Kaede had nearly killed him. She was broken out in a cold sweat, her body was ridged and tight, and she was biting her tongue so hard he had seen the crimson red blood staining her lips from trying to keep from screaming. He couldn't let Rinny see her mama that way._

_The evening was long, and Sesshomaru couldn't stand to go inside and know he had no way to take the pain away from his wife. He had put Rinny to sleep in the living room that night by the fire to keep her from the bedroom, while he paced. Every so often he could hear the faint cries of his wife and the soft encouraging sounds of Kaede murmuring something, and then it would become quite again and he was left to pace._

_This continued until the early hour's of the morning. Though when the door opened Sesshomaru looked up just in time to see Kaede looking heart broken._

_"Is she all right?"_

_He knew the answer before he asked. Simply looking at the elderly woman told him the answer to the question, but he didn't want to believe it, they were both young, they would be alright. She wasn't going to die, he wasn't going to loose her. Not when they had their whole life's to live._

_"I'm so sorry Sesshomaru. Ya might want to let her see Rinny again."_

_The words stunned the silver haired man , he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Though he did as he was bid to do, picking up his sleeping child and walking towards the bedroom where he could see his wife laying in the bed, her hair disheveled and her eyes hooded, the life that was usually there fading fast._

_"It hurt's Kagura, you can't leave me."_

_He didn't want to say that he was begging. But he was. He didn't know what to do without her. How was he supposed to live without her? How was he supposed take care of their daughter?_

_"It will be alright Sesshomaru, you can make it. You've got Rinny, an I don't have much longer."_

_"Don't say that, Kaede can fix it. She know's enough to fix most anything around here."_

_A weak laugh and a shake of her head. Kagura knew that it wasn't as easy as he was making it sound and she knew that she wouldn't make it, she could feel her body shutting down on her. She wasn't sure what it was, or what was causing it, but either way she felt it and it hurt._

_"Let me see her, one more time. Please."_

_Sesshomaru was quick to comply as he moved the tiny child to his wife's arms, a weak smile coming to his lips as tears blurred his vision seeing his two girls together one last time. Kagura's hand shakily raising to brush her daughter's hair from her face._

_"I love you Rinny. My sweet little girl. And you Sesshomaru, the love of my life. You've both made my life somethin special."_

_"Don't talk that way. Kagura please."_

_"I love you Sesshomaru."_

_"I love you too Kagura."_

_One last smile teased her lips as the life finally faded from her eyes and her grip on her daughter went slack. Sesshomaru saw it and nearly died right along with her right then and there. He moved forward and pressed his lips to her forehead, the tears still burning in his eyes finally falling and landing on the woman's forehead and eyes, making it look as if in her last moments of life she were crying herself._

0~0~0~0

Those memories and more played across Sesshomaru's mind as his eyes once again burned with un-shed tear's as he fingered the book he brought to the table with him. It had been one he had taken Rinny to town to get for her mama's last birthday. He remembered Kagura had been so excited when Rinny had handed it to her, all wrapped up in some fancy wrappin paper that Mrs Cifer, down at the General Store, had said Kagura would love.

Inside the book, were thing's Rinny had given her mama. A rose from the rose bush she had pulled all by herself, thorns and all, never once cried about the little pin pricks and little drops of blood on her tiny palm. She was just so happy that she could get her mama the flower. The feather Kagura had worn in her hair. The first few picture's the child had colored for her mama and more.

Dropping his head into his hands Sesshomaru closed his eyes as his tears stain his palms.

"Oh Kagura, what am I gonna do with out ya?"

TBC.


	2. Goodbye and Hello

**{{AN:Okay this is ch.1 I want to thank everyone for the review's I've been getting. alerts, favorites and silent readers. I want to once again state this is a yaoi/slash. SesshomaruxKouga. This will be ooc, with mentions of other anime characters. Lemons will be later, oc's might be mentioned. This will also have mpreg. Established relationship's, and character death. If this isn't your cup of tea please don't read. If it is, I hope this is enjoyed.}**

Kouga wanted to fall into the ground and die right along with Inuyasha. It just wasn't fair! how..how could this of happened? it seemed so surreal, like if he just closed his eyes and pinched himself, that he would wake up and this cruel dream would be over. He would wake up and be in bed, Inuyasha's arms wrapped around him. And they would be happy back East, preparing for the baby that was growing safely in his birthing fathers womb. They were excited, they were happy and planning a new life. Then they came out here, out to this wasteland, this wretched West! and the first chance it got, it snatched his Inuyasha away without a thought to how it would affect Kouga, or the life growing inside of him.

"Amen."

The final words of the prayer was what pulled Kouga from his thought's. He hadn't even realized that he wasn't listening to the preachers words. Though he didn't think that right now it mattered to much. Inuyasha was gone, gone from him. Gone from this world, never to know the unborn baby he was so excited to have. Never to see their land that Inuyasha had gone to buy before they came here. It just hurt so much. Kouga swore that this was the worse pain he had ever experienced before. How people managed to go forward every day after experiencing this, he didn't know. He wouldn't wish this kind of hurt on his worse enemy.

_'Inuyasha, what am I gonna do now? I need ya, the baby needs ya.'_

The ache in his heart throbbed all the harder as Kouga forced himself to turn away from the newly marked grave. The longer he looked at it the more it hurt and the more he hated the West. It just wasn't fair! what had he done to deserve this? they were good people. They hadn't bothered anyone in life, they were happy and planning a life. What ever had they done for this to happen to them?

The sun shone down on Kouga's already to warm body, making him more lethargic than he had felt before. He just didn't have the energy or the will to deal with this today. He didn't think he would ever be able to face this without feeling weak and dead inside.

So he walked from the grave, body tense but sluggish still as he forced his legs to move, one foot in front of the other, as he slowly made his way back to his broken wagon that he had been calling home for the past few months.

"I'm sorry bout ya loss. I only got but one room, but iff'en ya need, your welcome to it."

The sound of a voice pulled Kouga from this thoughts to see who was talking to him. It was a soft spoken carrier male like himself. Kouga remembered this mans husband had been one of the men to return his Inuyasha to him.

"I appreciate the offer, but I think I'm just going to stay on here for a bit, too clear my head."

"I understand. Iffen ya need, my name is Ginta Wolfe."

Kouga nodded in thanks for the offer, but didn't say another word and continued on his way back to the covered wagon. Hoping that he might be able to escape some of the blasted mind and body numbing heat.

Didn't the universe know that today isn't a day that the sun should be shinning? today should of been cold and grey with the wind howling out it's misery like Kouga wanted to do?

"Son, I am sorry for ya loss. Now we ain't got no room's, we're full up at our place. But we can offer ya a hot meal, and a place to put your wagon until you get some plans made."

Another voice had called to Kouga making him pause, turning to a elderly woman with greying brown hair and a eye patch covering one eye. She reminded him of his own grandmother, and the look in her eye made him want to hug her and weep. Weep for the loss he felt so keenly.

"Appreciated, though I think I'm'a just stay on here for a bit. Clear my head."

"Of course."

Kaede patted the man's hand and gave a kind but understanding smile, and turned walking back to her own wagon. Her eye looked on at the other mourners and she sighed, moving towards her husbands side and put a hand on his arm. Nodding lightly at the offered help up into the wagon before they were leaving as well.

Shade. That was the first thing that Kouga thought when he got back to his wagon. It was under a large oak that was possibly over grown, but right now it was providing him with the much needed relief from the sun.

Though he didn't go back into the wagon, it was hot enough, being inside wouldn't of helped much, besides out here he might be graced with a light breeze.

0~0~0~0

_"Inuyasha's comin~ Inuyasha's comin~"_

_"Taka, ya stop that right now. You know how miserable ya brother is without your teasing."_

_"But he IS comin! I can see him down the way!"_

_That had caused Kouga to look up and out the window, and true enough, his annoying little brother was right. There walking down the street towards his mama's home was indeed his Inuyasha!_

_"He's right mama! It is Inuyasha!" Kouga said throwing the door open, just as Inuyasha was entering the yard, and took off at full speed, throwing his arms around the man with enough force to knock him back into the grass, and hugged him tight. Inuyasha had been gone for four months, gone West to get their land so they could start a new life together, and now he was back and Kouga wasn't letting him go!_

_"Oof, Kouga? what's the matter? did somethin happen here at your ma's while I was gone?"_

_Inuyasha was frantic now. He knew that he had been gone for a little longer than planned, but having Kouga running at him like there was a fire under his feet had the golden eyed male more than worried._

_"I missed ya. I swear next time you go I'm going with ya, no matter what."_

_Inuyasha had to smile at the words. His hands that had formally been pinned at his sides in fear of actually hurting Kouga, in the chance something had happened to his husband while he was gone, now reached up and stroked the man's back and hair, nodding lightly._

_"I know, because we got our place now. In my pocket is a deed to our new place. Now we can really go home"_

_0~0~0~0_

_"Kouga, you should of told me before we started to prepare to go out there! you cant be pregnant and going West! it's dangerous! we can put it off for a little longer, until the baby is born and your safe enough to travel. You cant be making the trip on a bumpy wagon ride!"_

_Inuyasha was frantic. He couldn't believe that Kouga was pregnant. Oh sure he was more than happy about having a baby. But his husband bein pregnant. He couldn't be pregnant and going on a wagon trip out West! there was no doctors around, no mid wife's. Not even one of their mother's!_

_"Your worried about nothing Inuyasha, it's still early. We will be out at our place long before this baby decides to make an appearance. Now hand me that book I want to get them all packed up before we go."_

_Kouga thought Inuyasha was being silly. They would be at their place and settled before the baby came. At least he planned to be so long as Inuyasha would just quit dawdling around and hand him his book. He didn't want to leave without them._

_"We are gonna have to take a milk cow or somethin, your gonna need lot's of milk."_

_Kouga rolled his eyes. He knew they didn't have the money to buy a milk cow. They didn't even have a way to transport it and he knew that. But he knew that Inuyasha wanted to comfort him, so he merely nodded, moving to finish the packing of his books so they could move on to everything else._

_"Kouga, how are we going to fit everything we need in one wagon?!"_

_"Inuyasha, we're not takin everythin, just the thing's that we need. The extra stuff will be put up at mama's."_

_"Stubborn man."_

_Kouga pretend that he didn't hear his husband calling him stubborn. Yes he wanted to take several thing's West, and yes there were thing's that could be left behind, but he didn't want to,and that was that. Beside's, it wasn't like they were taking the whole house._

_0~0~0~0_

_The sound of horses walking forward had caused Kouga to look out of the wagon flap. He swore that he was going to tare into Inuyasha when he got back, he was worried sick and Inuyasha had told him that he wouldn't be gone long, just long enough to get the run away horse. But that had been hour's ago, it shouldn't take this long to find a horse._

_"Inuyasha I swear! when I get my hands on you-"_

_Kouga's sharp remark died on his tongue when he saw the stranger's. He knew that there was a chance that they weren't here for him. After all the whole reason he and Inuyasha were on this land was because their wagon wheel had broken here. But there was no way to fix it, they had mended it one to many times and now it was simply broken beyond repair._

_But they were close, only a few day's away from their land and they would be able to start their new life's. They had stayed for dinner at their 'neighbors', and then returned back to their moving home to prepare for one more final leg of their trip and then they would be able to go to their new place._

_That morning through, more bad luck had come to them, one of the horses had broke the tether to the tree, and had taken off. So Inuyasha had taken the second horse and went to find him. Though Inuyasha hadn't come back yet, and now he had stranger's leading his missing horse and looking at him._

_"Are you Kouga son?"_

_"Yes. How can I help ya folks?"_

_Kouga finally found himself and stepped out of the wagon. He wasn't sure who these men were, but talking to them from beyond the wagon was kind of rude. So he stepped out and brushed his pants free of dirt before turning his full attention to the men asking for him._

_The men's eyes became solemn and they bowed their head as one stepped forward. He was a little older than Kouga with dark skin and wavy brown hair, though only one eye was visible._

_"I'm sorry. We...found your husband son."_

0~0~0~0

'Well Inuyasha? what am I supposed to do now? we need ya.'

Kouga was aching, silently begging for some answer's. He didn't know who he was asking, Inuyasha couldn't answer him now, but he still needed the answers, he needed to know what he was supposed to do. He didn't have any friends or family here. And he didn't have any money to get back East either. And he knew that there wasn't another wagon train comin until spring, tryin to wagon train in the winter was a death sentence.

"Excuse me."

Kouga's eyes snapped open. That voice sounded just a little to close for his comfort. And when he looked up he saw a man with emotionless gold eyes and silvery white hair. He looked as old as the West itself. Kouga remembered he had been with the men who had come to tell him that Inuyasha was...

That thought was just to painful to get through, so instead Kouga just raised a brow letting the other know that he was listening, at least half way listening to him. Maybe it would distract him from the reality that his husband was gone.

Sesshomaru couldn't believe what he was doing, though he knew that he had too. It had been a long year since Kagura had died, and while Rinny was a happy adjusted little girl. He knew that his daughter needed a softer touch that he just couldn't provide, and he knew that this male was a carrier male, or a beta male. The one with the softer touch his little Rinny needed. Now he just had to force the words out.

"I know this isn't the proper time. But the preacher man isn't going to be here long enough for me to make this proper. Now from the looks of it, ya are in need. Ya got a broken wagon, and no way home, if ya even got a home to go back too. Now ya see i've got needs too."

The widening of sky blue eyes had Sesshomaru quickly back tracking. He hadn't meant those kinds of needs!

"I have a daughter, just three. But she needs the softer touch that I cant provide her. Now how I see it, if we marry. You will get a home and shelter from the upcoming winter. And Rinny will get the softer touch that she needs. And come spring when the wagon train comes through, i'll pay for you way back East. On the condition that you take my Rinny with you."

That being said, the taller male stood from his haunches, and turned to go. But he only took about a step before turning to look back at Kouga.

"I can only wait about an hour, then i'll have to have your answer."

And then the man was walking forward again. Though it didn't look it, that had taken a lot out of Sesshomaru, more than he would admit. He didn't want someone else coming into the house, taking care if his daughter, in his and Kagura's home, but..he wasn't doing this for him, he was doing this for Rinny.

He just had to keep that at the forefront of his mind since it was the only thing that mattered, he would deal with the rest later.

Kouga on the other had was wide eyed. That man had some nerve! he had the gall to come to him, the day he buried his husband to purpose..purpose a marriage! even if they wouldn't really be married, at least not a real marriage, still! he would rather stay a whole West winter in his broken wagon than be in debt to this man who would purpose something so...out of place!

But he didn't want their baby to die. It was the last piece of Inuyasha that he had. Though the thought of a marriage with a stranger left bile raising in Kouga's throat. Though he wanted their baby. The baby deserved to live. That was all that there was to it.

'Well that's it then.' Kouga straightened his back and squared his shoulder's. He might agree to this faux marriage, but it was also just for the life of his unborn child. Plain and simple.

And come spring he would be heading back East with his family and his child.

'Two children, if he holds up his word i'll be going back with not only mine but his too.'

That thought was another one that Kouga just wasn't ready to handle right now. His mind was settling on one thought at a time, and his mind was still sorting out the fact's that Inuyasha was dead and he had a unborn baby to think about, not just himself.

So with that reality in mind, the blue eyed beta male turned his attention back to his wagon and grabbing what he wanted to take with him and what he could live with leaving behind. If he was going to do this, then he was going to take at least some of his things.

And he wasn't going to wait around on pin's and needles for that...man to come and collect him like he was some piece of luggage that he needed to grab before moving on.

Sesshomaru returned an hour later, like he said he would, and raised a brow seeing the male sitting on a trunk and looking at him with a look that was akin to disgust. Sesshomaru could understand why, though he didn't say anything about it either and merely stopped the horses before getting down to assist him in getting his things in to the wagon. Though he was on the receiving end of a evil death glare the entire time.

'Hm well we will hopefully be able to stay in good graces for Rinny.' Sesshomaru thought moving the trunk up in to the back of his wagon, ignoring the fact that it felt like there was rocks in this trunk. Honestly what could he be bringing that was this heavy?

'His husband must of loved him. No man coming West would haul something this heavy if it, or who it belonged to wasn't special.' The golden eyed male thought, finally getting the trunk on the wagon, turning just in time to see Kouga stepping over the wagon wheel and onto the seat.

Hmm well apparently he had decided, and it was time to move on.

Kouga hadn't felt the urge to apologize for what was in his trunk. It was everything that he planed on taking with him. His books, his clothes, necessities, and the baby thing's he and Inuyasha had brought along when they came West,for the 'just in case' their mother's talked about.

'Oh mama, if you could see me now.'

Kouga had to force himself to take a deep breath to keep the shuttering whimper he felt in his throat from coming. He couldn't break now, not in front of this man.

"We will go to Kaede's first. The preacher is there along with Rinny."

The sound of the voice made Kouga flick his eyes to the side to see the male talking to him. He wasn't sure what he was supposed to say or what to expect so he simply nodded letting the male know that he had at least heard him.

He didn't comment because what was there to say? His own choice was pretty much taken from him. He was marrying a stranger on the day he buried his husband. And for what? to keep himself and his and Inuyasha's child alive? well that was what was important. Keeping his and Inuyasha's baby alive.

Sesshomaru seemed to notice that Kouga wasn't in the mood to talk, so Sesshomaru decided to not go in to a more in dept conversation right now he wasn't a talkative man anyway. And besides his own mind was spinning with the thought's of marrying again, even if it wasn't for the reason's he married Kagura, this had nothing to do with love.

It was for his daughter, and she deserved everything, and if he could give her this, a 'mothering' figure, then his own unease at the situation was just something that he would live with.

Across the seat, Kouga was having the same thought's. He didn't care for the man he was going to be 'marrying' honestly he thought that the man at his side was most likely the single most selfish person he had ever come across, for what he had done.

Though he wanted his baby to live. It would just be until spring and then he could return home where he belonged.

'Oh Inuyasha, please give me strength to handle this.' Kouga silently begged as the wagon rolled on in a thick uncomfortable silence.


	3. I Do

The wagon rolled on quietly, a few bump's and the horses having to change the direction several times before straightening out again in whatever general direction that Sesshomaru was leading them. Kouga wasn't to interested in the direction at the moment, he just knew that he wanted to get out of the heat.

"We will be there soon and we can get ya outta the heat."

Sky blue eyes trailed to the side, taking in the profile of his new husband and gave a simple nod. What did he care if Kouga was hot? Pfft it really didn't matter anyway. Beside's just because the man was seeming to show some form of concern for him in the heat did not mean that Kouga was going to be joining him in his bed any time soon, or ever for that matter, it just wouldn't happen.

"It bein this warm out, an you havin such a long day, it will be best. An when we get on home, you will be able to rest, i'll care for things tonight."

Again all Kouga gave was a nod to show that he was somewhat listening. If the man wanted to take over his house hold chores then so be it, he wasn't going to complain about it either. It was his business. Beside's he didn't think that he could manage to much right now, he just wanted to sleep.

Sesshomaru inwardly sighed as he saw that the man beside him seemed to be intent on not talking or even attempting anything at conversation. Sesshomaru was used to the silence for himself, but with Rinny she chattered all the time about whatever came to the mind of a three year old. And when Kagura was still with him, she would goad him into conversation's all the time. This was..different.

The ride was long and painfully quite. And Kouga was so lost in his own mind that when he heard the voice of his companion, he nearly jumped, turning his eyes fully to the man so that he could figure out what the man had said, so he wasn't lost any longer.

"The house up ahead, is where Kaede lives."

Sesshomaru hadn't meant to startle the man, but he could see that he had done so, so he made sure to repeat it, and pretend that he didn't see how startled the man was. It was slightly amusing though, but he didn't say anything, and instead turned his attention to the road.

Kouga watched the road when the news that they would be arriving soon. He wouldn't say that he was anxious, because he wasn't, it was more just curious. His curiosity though was soon relived when he saw a house up ahead, with children spilling out it looked like, and two more carriages along with a horse as well, along with a few children running around outside as well.

_One must be Rinny_

Kouga let his eyes drift over the people in the yard. Two were young men, one had bright gravity defying hair, another had dark black hair worn in a braid. Then there were children running and chasing and simply being children. One was a girl with bright baby pink hair and large doll eyes. Another girl had sea foam green hair and large wheat colored eyes and a magenta colored birth mark going across her nose and cheeks.

The last child had large brown eyes and dark black hair held up in a ponytail on top of her head with a flower crown. The children all seemed happy enough, but Kouga didn't give it much more thought than that, and when the wagon pulled up, the male with the braid came forward, a smile teasing his lips.

"How was it?"

Kouga raised a brow as he stepped over the wagon wheel. Who asked how a funereal was with a smile on their lips? did they not understand the concept of what a funereal was?! temper simmering, he didn't even realize that his boot was caught in one of the wagon wheel spokes, and when he went to step back, his body was suddenly falling.

Sesshomaru swore that Bankotsu, no matter how well meaning, was not good at determining moods around him. Though before he could answer, he heard the yelp and turned his eyes widening just slightly, seeing the male he was with, falling down. So he moved over, just in time to keep the male from toppling over into the dirt.

Kouga was expecting to hit the ground, though when he didn't, his eyes opened to look into the golden eyes of Sesshomaru. Something in those eyes flickered for a flash of a second, but then it was gone. That was fine with Kouga, he squirmed until he got his leg freed and he squirmed out of Sesshomaru's hold, he had no urge to stay any longer in the hold of the man.

"PA!"

The cry of a child had Kouga turning his eyes to where all the children were coming from. The one with dark hair and brown eyes and the flower crown on her head and running at a break neck speed towards the man that Kouga would soon be sharing a name.

_She must look like her mama._

That was really the only thing the blue eyed male could work up to think when it came to the child. Then again he did like kids, and it wasn't right to think anything bad about this child, he just couldn't do that. Though when she looked at him, he would be lyin if he said that the child's look didn't startle him a little bit. She looked almost..mad at having him near her father.

Sesshomaru though just turned his attention back to Kouga and nodded. "Let's get in outta the heat and talk to the preacher." He said, hoisting Rinny further up his hip where he was holding her, before moving his hand to Kouga's lower back and led him into the home where the scent of food could be caught, and the sound of laughter was easily heard.

Kouga felt a little distant as he walked into the house, he felt out of place. There was talking and laughter and everyone seemed to be in pleasant moods, though he honestly just wanted to curl up somewhere and disappear somewhere. But all of the laughter and conversation's seemed to stop and all eyes were on the two adults, while the young child seemed to just squirm and attempt to get down near the other children. Kouga though was trying to not turn and walk out, he suddenly felt very much on display, and that wasn't a pleasant feeling.

"Sesshomaru, well come on inside now."

That was a elderly man, he looked as old as the World, with a long grey beard and matching eyebrow's, but no hair on his head. Which considering the amount of facial hair, it was a little amusing.

"Yes we don't see you often enough to invite you to dinner." That was the sound of a elderly woman with greying brown hair, the woman he had seen at the funeral. 'Kaede.' "And you brought . Well wonderful we will make room at the table, Miroku is out back with Ichigo and Nemu right now but should be in as soon as the meals ready."

Kaede smelled something happening, but she didn't say anything. She knew Sesshomaru, and he wasn't someone who would be scheming, to hurt know one, so she stayed silent and instead smiled at the two adults.

Meanwhile Sesshomaru had set Rinny down before turning to Kaede and her husband and forced himself to breathe before making the announcement. But he couldn't seem to find his voice, he felt like a green horn once again and askin for permission to marry their daughter.

"Sesshomaru? somethin on your mind son?" Genryusai asked looking at the white haired male with a raised brow. He like his wife had noticed the tenseness in the air and had a feeling that if someone didnt say something, whatever Sesshomaru had on his mind, would go left unsaid.

"Well since the preacher man is here we's decided-"

Kouga inwardly snorted at that comment. _We' pfft, more like 'HE' had decided._

"-That we's gonna marry up. It's a logical decision, that'a way, Rinny will get a mama, and will have a place to stay."

Sesshomaru had felt Kouga's eyes burning into his back when he said that they had decided on marryin up. But it was the best decision for them, and they both got something out of it. It might not be made out of love, but it was for some right reason's, it was to make sure that Kouga had a home and Rinny had a mother. That had to count for something right?

There were murmer's of 'of course' and 'makes sense' and the likes could be heard around the room, but know one made a real big deal about the marriage. There was another two place's set at the table before the preacher was fetched and brought up to speed. The ceremony took his place in front of the room and Kouga took his place across from Sesshomaru, and the marriage began.

The words were spoken again, but Kouga turned a deaf ear on it, he was to consumed by his own thought's to really pay too much attention anyway. Though he must of spoken his vow's when the time was right, because the next thing he knew, he was being shuffled to a seat at the dinner table, and conversation's went on as if nothing happened.

Kouga couldn't say if dinner was good, bad or otherwise, he was really just going through the motion's. So when Sesshomaru stood, he did as well assuming that it was time to leave. The preacher man was getting a sack from Kaede, and the young man, Ichigo, was talking about riding over to see someone named 'Kagome.' The house was moving again, and as Kouga was walked towards the front door, again know one said anything about the marriage, and Kouga was thankful. No matter how well meaning the words were, the young man would break if he heard them, there was just no getting around that.

Though no words were spoken, and at the door as Sesshomaru took Rinny to gather the wagon, Kaede turned her kind eye to the young man she smiled lightly.

"I'll give ya a few day's, then i'll come an visit."

Kaede could understand Kouga's thought's and feeling's, he was new to the West, he had just buried his husband and married another. And if her thought's were corrected and her sight wasn't greying like her hair, the man was going to be needing a friend soon, he was in the family way.

"Thankyou for dinner."

Kouga wasn't trying to be rude, he wasn't trying to be distant to the woman, but he really just wanted to go to bed. So when Sesshomaru came back with the ginning child, Kouga nodded a goodbye and walked out of the home and back to the wagon, giving half an ear to the chattering child who was going on about the cow who went 'moo' and how the dogs went 'bark' and..Kouga didn't catch the funny sound the pigs made.

What did surprise him though was the fact that Sesshomaru seemed much more talkative now that the little girl was there, and dare Kouga even think he thought a ghost of a smile? the child must of had a way with her father, but then again, apparently Sesshomaru seemed to be all that she had.

"That's it up ahead."

The voice startled Kouga to looking to the side catching a glimpse of Sesshomaru who was merely nodding ahead. Kouga could see in the distance a small wood cabin that looked comfortable enough. There was another building a good distance away that had to be a barn. There were other scattered building's around that Kouga figured he would need to learn the meaning's of, but right now he just saw the buildings.

"We have chicken and pigs and some cow's. I've got a little vegetable garden out around side of the house, and last spring we got some cuttings of apple tree's from Urasue, should hopefully have some small apples next year. I am not bragging, im just trying to give you the 'lay of the land' so to speak.

We have a little cash saved up, and if we need some more we can always take a cow or a pig to be sold. We arent rich but we try an be proper."

Kouga nodded. He could hear what was being said, and he nodded in understanding. _Alright. Proper, I'll be proper for you._ Kouga thought nodding.

"It's nice."

Sesshomaru was a little surprised that he heard the man speak, he had been fairly silent since the ride home, but he nodded in thanks. It was a step in some direction. So as they rode on, he let Rinny control the conversation again while he focused on keeping the horses from running towards the home in promise of being unhitched from the wagon.

Twenty minutes later, they were pulling up and Sesshomaru was glad of it. He was sure the horses were ready to be down and he had a feeling that the rest of the animals believed that they had been forgotten since he was so late in his usual chores. So getting down and reaching out for Rinny, he sat her down before turning to Kouga seeing that he got down without falling again.

"Go ahead and take yourself inside and make yourself comfortable, i'll go head and take Rinny with me to do the chores, it's to late to tend to the fields now anyway."

Kouga looked at the man before nodding and headed into the house. He was to tired to think about it, he just felt drained of everything. So walking into the house, he didn't really pay to much attention to anything, and instead he walked towards the door on the far side of the room. He found a bed and without much thought of who's room it was, or who's bed, he just fell onto it, held the pillow as close to his body as possible and finally let himself cry until his body could give no more, and he fell asleep.

Outside Sesshomaru sighed softly, looking towards the house and shaking his head. He knew the pain Kouga was feeling, better than Kouga thought he was sure. Kouga was hurting, but Sesshomaru was too, and though he wouldn't admit it, he almost resented the male for coming into Kagura's home, going to be Rinny's mama...

Forcing the thoughts out of his head, Sesshomaru returned to milking the cows as Rinny chased after the barn yard cats. This was going to be the beginning of a very interesting start, Sesshomaru was sure.


End file.
